Tuesday, January 30, 2007

When Time is the Enemy

Recently, I met up with my college friends over lunch and had a seemingly de-javu-like talk. Another friend just broke up with her beau, thus, adding up to the ever soaring statistic of singlehood. Word!!! ;(

I am not, in any way, new to this. I remember having the same conversation, years ago to another good friend about the issue of time. Kaya nga de javu siya. How something sooooo sweet can turn into sour given that precious time. I’ve seen things happen to some people and have personally witnessed the transition from good to worst. And at some point, one way or another, I maybe guilty of doing some of those things that I myself have hated. At times, I am aware of, but in most cases, it was unintentional. =)

At the start, esp yung mga nanliligaw, they shower you with their presence. Phone calls, text messages (with or without sense), personal visits, lunch/dinner out, malling, etc. The activities are simply endless. You want to be with the person almost every single day. That’s just how it is!!! Yung iba nga, daig pa si Jaworski kung magbantay! Haha. But then, given the Time, and when the two of you finally get into a real relationship and went pass through the “getting-to-know-each-other” phase, things start to slowly change. Soon, there’ll be less (minsan, no) calls. The person who sends you all those sweet, cute and sometimes corny quotes, would only reply in one letter, “K” – Geezz. It’s not even one word. I remember once, I used to tease somebody about that same transition. How, a few weeks prior, a guy kept calling her on her mobile phone at a very specific time daily, just to check if she’s already home. A few weeks after, her phone still rang at that very specific time, only now, she doesn’t get to talk to the guy. MISSED CALL na lang. And she’d have to text him where she exactly was. And without formally announcing that she’s not single anymore, that’s when we all knew na sinagot na niya yung guy! Hahahaha. (Sorry… )

I remember having this talk with some of my alpha male friends. How they whine about their significant others for being too needy, demanding or whatever you call it. I can sooooo remember being ganged up by this bunch of drunk guys who are tying to state their case of having the need to do certain things for their lovers and how these people expect so much from them. Without realizing that we are the ones who did set the bar that high/low, depending on who’s looking. The expectations are somehow directly proportional to the neediness that we are talking about. We push things far, up to the point of “nakasanayan” and then eventually turn back on that. Di ba? Di ba? Hahaha. But then again, I don’t discount the fact that there are some who were really asking for waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy to much of yourself too soon. Now, Time becomes the enemy. All of a sudden, we don’t have as much or worse, we don’t have time at all. Then we start to see things differently, we start to go on with our lives differently. Then one day, we find outself asking for it again – I need time to think about us, about this. Yadayadayada. All the same nonsense excuses intended to ease the pain of the other hearing the words, but was never did successful in doing so.

When time is the enemy, what are you supposed to do? Do you demand and fight until you get to squeeze your very presence? Or do you let things be and wait in vain? For me, my time is the most precious gift I can ever give to anyone. And I make sure to just give it just to those who are worthy, no less. Sure there are times when we get to have a really tight schedule, but personally, I do make time for the people that I truly care for. The ones that really matter. How I wish I can say that it is the same for all. Hehe. You see, if we really want to, we can always make time for anything – in the same way we take the time to change our undies!!!!! Pag gusto may paraan, pag ayaw maraming dahilan. It’s just a matter of time management – prioritize, protect and keep your promises!!!! Easier said than done, I suppose, but then I know of someone who endured the long distance thing and agreed to meet online every Fridays – now, years after that trying stage, they are happily married. See, you can really make things work, that is, if you really want to. Both of you should really really want it.

Bottomline, time is something we give that we can never ever take back. We should really be more careful as to whom we give it to. It is soooo precious that whenever people give us a portion of their time, we should learn to appreciate and value what was given. No matter how long or short that time may be. Keep in mind that a packed schedule is not a sign of a happenin’ life!!! Togetherness and dependency are two diffrent words with entirely different meanings. More than togetherness, you must also try to make time for yourself – to evaluate things and to check what you really want out of life in general. Choose wisely!!!! Afterall, Time is Gold!!!!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Confessions of a Reluctant Leader

When I was young…… I listen to the radio, waiting for my favorite song… Ay mali!!! Hahaha..

Leaders are born and not made. Those were the words from a famous line which originated from somewhere I don’t know. *wink* Although at the rate we are going now, I can say that leadership skills can be very much developed with all the self-help books around, but then again, we cannot really deny the fact that some very few are just simply lucky to be born with it.

At the risk of sounding pompous (although I do not, in any way intend to), I have been exposed to this role at such a young age. As a kid, I used to find myself leading a group of people at school or even at play. Perhaps, because I talk a lot than most kids back then. Hehe. Growing up, I remember being one of the officers in the class for almost every year. While I enjoyed the perks and the power that comes with it, soon enough I become tired and somehow found it quite nonsense and eventually refused to participate in any of such role when I was in high school. It could be a thing of too-much-too-soon or perhaps, I just have a very little attention span so boredom got me, that early. Hehe. Soon enough, I’ve led the path of freedom and with less (close to none) responsibility. I only have myself to look after and I found it quite liberating. What a breather, really!

For sometime, I’ve enjoyed the complete freedom and relaxed mood of being a fabulous follower but then again, fate has brought me once again to that particular role. The very role I gave up years ago, for reasons I myself don’t know. Eventually as life begins to unfold (naks!), I have become once again, accustomed to the responsibility, the redundant sometimes nonsense reports, blah blah. For lack of better things to point at, I blame fate for this, fate and passion. Hehe. Now years after, my views on leadership have made a complete 360 degree turn. Books, shared stories and personal experiences have thought me otherwise.

Recent events at work have made me think of my choices and my ideals. It seems like I have not been conforming to the norms of what a good leader should be, I may or may not need some enlightenment. More than meeting an accurate and timely deliverables, I personally feel that a good leader should be able to help those under his wings develop their full potential – ala milk! For the group to be able to maximize each other’s talents, and eventually make the office a better place to work in. Hehe. But what happens if that person finds out that he wants to do something else? In the process of developing, he gets to find himself and would want to follow his passion. Aren’t we supposed to support that? As a leader, is it a bad thing to feel happy knowing that one lost soul has managed to find his preferred path in this crazy life? Or should we condemn the person for even thinking of moving out?

Experience has taught me the value and virtue of investment. How, we put our best efforts to train and develop people’s skills for them to do better. But if you can’t very well provide any better opportunity, why hold on and hinder people’s growth? Naitanong ko lang ha. Walang malisya. If any one of you has the answer, kindly hit me back by mail. Enlighten me!!! =)
Last Song Syndrome

As I stare at the monitor, uhm, I am faced with a big problem. I can't think of anything to write! Hahaha.
And this was my sole purpose why I am, right now, sitting in front of a computer!!! I'm sooooooo freakin' relaxed I think I might be losing my mind!!!!
Grrrr. I guess, it's the song. Oh well, blame it to the poor song, wutever!!! LSS - last song syndrome, I guess that's what I'm experiencing right now. This is one of my favorite favorite songs, and I can't believe it is actually an OPM (ayos!!!). This is one song that I can stand on a repeat mode until my ipod runs out of life, este battery!! hehehe. How I wish I know how to post the file here, MP3 so that you all could listen to it. Anyways, here are the words, if this gets your curiosity shooting up to the ceiling, email me and I will gladly send you the mp3 file!!! Ciao!!!
We speak but the words we say mean nothing.
We smile but the smiles we give are wanting.
We look upon each other's eyes, no spark No glow, no real signs,
but we both know This is all for show

Until that sometime, somewhere,
We could show the world we have each other
Sometime, somewhere
we need not hide out feelings,
We just keep on believing that we both have the time together
Sometime and somewhere,

our lips would be free at last You say the words we've hungered to say
And we won't have to worry,
we smile we won't say sorry
One look and we have cast our fears aside.
Sometime, that sometime will turn to forever, for all time.
Somewhere, our somewhere would not be just one place,
But everywhere

Until that sometime, somewhere,
We just have to be content with stealing glances
Somehow, content with saying nothing, smiles that are
Always wanting.
Though deep inside it hurts
Because we know that our love, like love,
Is what it is, it's what we got
Our love, like love will have to wait
Until that sometime, somewhere

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

To the one that God has prepared for Me

I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me
If like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other
Many times I thought I finally found you
Only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended
I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you
I am thinking of how we will meet
Would it be as romantic as the ones I’ve seen in movies?
Or is it possible that I have known you all my life
But we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other
How I wish you were here right now
Because you are the only one who has the answers to all my questions
Sometimes, I ask myself if I have ever really known “love”
I do not have the answer to that question either
But I believe that, more often than not, we will never really know what love is
Until we find that right person
And since I have not found you yet, then maybe, I do not really know what love is
You just don’t know how often I dream of finally knowing
How it feels like to be in your arms
Even at this very moment
I am imagining how you will simply seep me off my feet
Perhaps I would be drawn to you by your smile, or your eyes
Or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways
I don’t really know for sure but I am praying
That God will help me recognize you when the right time comes
I think of all the pain that I have gone through in the past
And of how much I have cried since the day I began my search
I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision
Of the beautiful life ahead of me – the life I shall spend with you
In my mind and in my heart I know
That you are worth all the pain and sacrifice
After all, the tears have become a part of my life
And I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws
So that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense,
But perfect for Y O U.
If you’ve gone through so much pain as well
I wonder if you’ve been hurt so many times along the journey
But my dearest one, please don’t ever give up
Because I am right here, patiently waiting for you
I assure you that when we finally find each other
I would slowly heal those wounds by my love
At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky
Hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me
I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above
Thinking that in time, they would reach you
And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes
And believe that you are on your way
And that you are longing to see me as well
It is funny but when I finally fall asleep
It is still you that I think of
For you are always in my dreams
It seems that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold you
Long enough to tell you how muh I love you
In my dreams you would kiss away my fears
And wrap me with you arms of love
And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up
And face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough
You will no longer be a dream but a reality
And once again I am assured that you are worth the wait
And when the time comes, everything will fall into its place
Just as I had imagined
Just as I had thought and dreamed
Just as I had believed it would be
By then, I would simply look back and smile
At all that I have gone through
In spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life
And I would be very thankful
Because they all led me to you

Monday, January 22, 2007

The Friendship Note

Have you ever had those little notes back in the days? Where people, mostly your friends or classmates, wrote some silly, sometimes funny, sometimes serious note about you and how happy they are to have met you, yada yada yada. Well I have. Back in the days, when collecting scented stationery was the coolest activity known to mankind and the measure of being BFF’s lies on the number of little notes you give to each other, regardless of their content or meaning per se. Mature na mature. I think this actually went on till first my few terms in college. Uhm, yeah, only that we have evolved and moved on to using post its and stacking them inside our dear old CSB planner – which was then being checked by our teacher in Seperde!!! Haha.

Last Sunday, I was going through some of my things (uhm, I was actually looking for my Itrip) when I got hold of this big jar of notes I’ve collected for ages. I was sort of surprised that I even had one. Invitations, post its, notepads of different colors and sizes, the works! For lack of better things to do, I opened the jar and tried to re-read some of those cute notes. Some were like the simple “hi!”, “Good Morning!”, “Have a nice day!” – to the polite “happy birthday”, “happy valentines”, “happy wutever!!”. It’s really funny how as kids, getting those lil notes meant the world to you. The thought of it. Haha.

Browsing through and relieving all those moments that led to them writing those notes, I couldn’t help but wonder how many of them actually meant every word they wrote. Some promised that they’ll be in touch, some even swore they life to be friends with you forever, while others uhm yeah, they managed to make you decipher all those cutesy acronyms – tccic, japan and all that jazz! Aminin mo, meron ka niyan. Natawa ka no? haha. Think about it, how many people have promised to be there for you, kept their promise and really stayed? A friend once wrote that friendship like love, in no respecter of persons. It does not consider race, color, religion or even sex. A friend in need is a friend indeed – this saying sums it all up. Could be true, but then again, who wants to hang out with a really needy friend? Hahaha.

I sooooo value my friends and the relationships I’ve had (and still having) with each and every one of them. I love being with my friends. They bring that extra shine in my life without having the need to be too needy. Things are different, my definition of friendship has evolved in time, together with the experiences that I’ve had, both past and present. Now, more than the adversity, I want my friends to be there for me whenever I get to achieve something. Be it big or small. I want them not only to share my miseries, but also my happiness and not be jealous of whatever successes I may have in this lifetime. I want my friends to look at me as an ally, than a threat to their careers, love and life in general. True friends are hard to find – and believe me, they really are. The ones who will share their honest smiles with you, for real.

Success does not depend on fame or fortune. It’s having enough fingers to count who your real friends are - said the late Joel Tantoco. Which I sooo agree with. In this day and age of advanced technology, we can really get lost in the maze and believe that what we see is actually what it is. But in most cases, it is not. In this fast paced life we lead, where we almost everything comes in an instant (uhm, almost!). It is nice to know that there are some things that really need to take time and experience to develop – such as friendship. It is a really nice feeling to read some old fashioned letter, handwritten with all honesty and cheesyness attached to it. Looking back, I consider myself lucky, to have met quite a handful of people who remained true, after all these years. Who’ve been there not only when I needed them but also – especially - when I don’t. If fame were based on the number of real friends you’ve had in this lifetime, I would probably be the biggest celebrity on Earth – because of each and every one of you!!!!! Salamat!

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down" - Oprah Winfrey

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Second Chances

Last Wednesday, as soon as I got home, I did my normal routine – sat on the couch, bag of chips, four seasons and remote control. This has been one of my favorite past times on a slow day like this. I was simply channel surfing. When I think about it, it’s really funny why I sit in front of the TV not to watch a particular show but to actually look around and see what I’ve been missing. For people who loves doing that as well, you know what I mean. Looking around for something that might get my attention and persuade me to watch some more. And in most cases, I end up watching something, somewhere.

Today, I ended up watching something on QTV. The topic is about a kid who got lost somewhere in QC and got picked by someone. Parang kuting. Hehe. All the poor girl can remember was that they rode a tricycle somewhere and her father’s name was Efren. Very specific noh. Good thing, the people who got her then, did make an extra effort to make her live better, despite the fact that they are not really “family”. Then by some stroke of luck, faith or fate, the show’s crew was able to find the real parents of the kid, who were also looking for their lost daughter. Eventually they got reunited. Obviously the parents were ecstatic. But what caught my attention was how the younger sister of the lost girl reacted. The way she closed her eyes saying “sana siya na..” over and over again, until her lost sister shows up. To say that she was happy will be the understatement of the year! Hehe.

Later that night, I couldn’t help but think about what I just saw on TV. How this family is sooooo freakin lucky to have a second chance to be with someone they thought they’ve lost forever. Not all of us were given that same chance in life. It made me think of all the people I’ve lost in this lifetime, both literally and figuratively, and made me wonder how they are now. We as humans, have a tendency to take things for granted, out of security or simply out of plain stubborness. Bakit nga ba? Why do we always do that. We all dream of something good and yet we always fall for something bad. We wish for a better life and yet, once everything is in order we whine about being bored and wander elsewhere. You’ll never know what you have until you lose it. These words have been repeated over and over again in so many conversations I’ve had with people. But then again, sometimes, we very well know what we have. It’s just that it never crossed our mind that we will lose it, ever! We fool ourselves into believing that it is going to be a thing of “forever”. “Lagi namang nanjan lang yan”, “bukas na lang”, “next time”. Without really thinking that forever is just as long as it lasts. And before we knew it, everything is different, gone and will never be back!

If you were given a chance to do something all over again, what would you do differently? Ask yourself that. I’m sure some of you will and can come out of something (you may even write about it if you want). I know that I will never be the same person as I am now, have I not gone through it all. But then, in all honesty, if I could go back, there are some things that I would do differently. But definitely, no regrets. I wish we can all think about the future, the same way we do about our past! Baka sakali, there’ll be no more tears, heartaches and disappointments. But then again, we might complain again of boredom. Hahaha. Until then, continue to count your blessings, be grateful, love deeply, laugh hard and when it gets you sick to your stomach, laugh some more. Make the most out of everything, say sorry and be thankful, afterall, not all of us will be given that same second chance in everything.


My Way

I have been a commuter since the day I was born and I loved every bit of experience I’ve had with my travels. When I was young, I used to ride a tricycle to get me to school. This went on until I graduated high school. On college, I got accustomed to riding the crowded, chaotic and sometimes annoying LRT. These two have become my favorite mode of transportation for the past 19 years of my life. Eventually as I grow older and went to places farther than I expected, I learned to diversify my mode of transportation. I’ve learned how to ride a bus, a jeep, a boat, a plane, even the world’s most fashionable ride – yung pedicab. Hehe. It seems to me that I have tried all possible mode of transportation to date, at least the more common ones. And as for the experiences I’ve had, they are simply unpredictable and boundless.

Unpredictable it was! The other night, I was rushing to head home. I wanted to watch something on TV and as always, I am running a bit late! With only 30 minutes left, I took a quick shower (quick is 20 minutes, quick na yon sa akin!) after working out. With water still literally dripping from my hair, I hurried to get the next ride home. When I got to the terminal, I felt blessed. I was the last passenger to board the aircraft, err I mean the FX and viola, in less than a minute we were on the road. Yahoo!!!!! Usually kasi antayan, pupunuin pa!!!! Talk about being lucky!

I was comfortably seated in the middle. Kasya naman kaming 4 passengers surprisingly. On the road, I never never ever open my cellphone. Well this particular night was an exception. A friend and I were talking, uhm, better say, texting and talking about something interesting. I can’t help but giggle at times, especially when sends me those funny thoughts, but I tried to keep it low. As I was trying to compose a reply on say, uhm his 4th message, I noticed my seat mate, a petite girl look at my phone. Well, she’s well dressed – in fact, from her uniform, she looks like a banker– so thinking that she wants to steal my cellphone did not, in any way, cross my mind. Besides, my phone is not the “nakawin” type and she’s too small for me, I can very well kick her fat ass if she ever try. Hehe. So what I did? Deadma. But then again, for every text I get and for every reply I try to compose, I can very well see her peeping in, on what the message was and what I am typing. Grrr. HwehHEh

At first, I tried to shoo her away by looking at her, its like letting her know that I can see her reading my messages – pero wa-epek! Kapal tlga! Haha. It’s not like I am broadcasting my phone each time I open it, with my gym bag on my lap, there’s just no more space to hide it. This has to stop! I thought. And so, on the next message that I got from my friend, I carefully read the content and made sure I was at the right angle to make her clearly see the message. Carefully, I tried to compose a reply, with her still peeping in, I wrote:

“ Hi. Nag eenjoy ka ba sa binabasa mo? Kanina pa kita napapansin kasi. Jst want u to knw. Mukhang may phone ka naman, bakit di mo basahin yun messages mo!!!!! ”

Short, sweet and subtle. Minding my own business is one of the best lessons I’ve ever learned in life. I’ve tried to live with that mantra for God knows how long already. You see, sometimes your own life gets all too complicated for yourself, and I wonder why people want to be bothered by the affairs of the others. And don’t start with me by telling that you have nothing better to do!! Please! Ang daming charitable institutions jan, go volunteer!!!! Hahaha. This is a lesson for everyone, and I hope with my experience, you will be enlightened and warned – no matter how petty it was! And as for the girl, (if ever, for some reason, you’ll get to read this), I don’t know if you personally know the guy I’ve been exchanging messages with or what, sorry kung nabitin ka!! ikaw na bhalang mag isip kung anu naging ending namin! And btw, if you do happen to know, wag mong sabihin na kinilig ako sa msgs niya!!!!!! Hahaha… You had it your way, and I had it mine – so quits na tayo! Peace be with you!


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Power Thoughts

Like most kids, I loved watching the whole gang of super heroes fight for the world. Batman, Spiderman, Aquaman, Flash, and of course, Wonder Woman, etc. I used to watch all those cartoons where super heroes and super natural beings have all these super powers that allow them to triumph over the bad and eventually, save the world. When I was younger I dreamed of one day having all of their powers in me and be the most powerful superhero in this side of the world and hopefully the hottest! Hehe.

Recently and for the nth time, I was once again forced to watch Spiderman. I was with my nephew and it happens to be his ultra favorite movie of all time, that whenever he visits our place, he makes it a point to bring both 2 discs of Mr. Spidey for us to watch. And this particular day is no exception. Sitting on the couch, I was trying to be the all supportive “tito” and pretended to watch the film, uhm, well, until he saw that I was actually wearing my earphones and listening to music. Haha. Bad Tito pala. To make up for it, I decided to engage him into some hero talk instead. The powers he’d want to have, the costume and why. And of course, I don’t need to say that all his answers were pointing to one particular character, c Gagamboy, este Spiderman pala.

Somehow, the conversation we had got me thinking about my own super hero dream in the past. Hehe. There’s one particular superhero that I did admire for his special power and uhm, cge na nga, because he’s also hot. I loved Superman. I love the fact that he can fly and that’s one particular power that I’d want to have for myself. I simply wanted to be able to fly. I wanted to be able to go to places whenever I want to. I wanted to see the world from the top and be able to look at the people from all parts of the globe. I wanted to be able to fly and sit on top of a billboard, at times when I feel the need to be alone. I wanted to be able to fly and be with my special someone on a rooftop, at times when he feels lonely. Yihee.. Mush Alert!

Just yesterday, I had one of the more intense conversations with a good friend of mine. Life seems to be getting us somewhere similar and we just couldn’t pass up the chance to somehow talk and compare notes. (Hindi ko ichi-chismis yung pinag-usapan namin, kahit pilitin niyo pa ako! Haha) Surprisingly, this conversation has led me to wish that I have something in me, something that can solve all our troubles or at least something that can help save us from ourselves. For the longest time, I simply wanted to be able to fly but today, I wish to have something else, something more personal. Now, I wish that I can move out of my body and be able to look at me, what I’m doin and all that jazz. If I can do that, things would’ve been a lot better! I guess. It will allow me to look at things from a different perspective. Baka sakali, I will find something else, feel something else. There might be something in me that is somehow still stuck somewhere, hidden, waiting to be freed. I don’t know. Naisip ko lang. If only we can see ourselves from a different angle, perhaps we can change what’s bad and stick with what’s good. Perhaps we can direct our feelings towards something that will actually be better for us and eventually stop wandering, period. Ang labo ba? Basta ganon.

That thing called power. It makes one soooo attractive in the eyes of those who don’t have it. You may wonder, why not ask to have the strength of the man of steel, the special skill of a mutant or have the speed of Flash. I dunno. Perhaps, I’m boring. Haha. Kidding. For me, the real essence of power is to simply have it felt, without you having to use it. Agree or disagree, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. May the force be with all of you!!! =)

P.S. I still want to be able to fly! Hahaha.. Ikaw? If you could choose to have a power, ano pipiliin mo?

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

My Own New Year

2007. It’s “new year” once again. It brings new hope, new life and new beginnings for some. While everybody is busy trying to get their new year’s resolution together, I am busy with something else. Hehe.

Last weekend, I went back to the very cold (at the moment) place called Tagaytay. It’s a place that I kinda frequent way way back when I was younger. Ahh, not that it’s sooo long ago. Hehe. Although I made a few trips back, quite a few times in the past - to attend a party or visit a resto - it was only this at time that I get to really experience the beauty of the place. This time, I went there with my friends for no particular reason or specific thing to do. We just simply want to go there and try to re-visit some old familiar places and well, baby tigers. Haha.

Cruisin’ around, I noticed how progressive things have been for this place. A lot of new establishments have sprouted around the vicinity offering different things, from hotels to inns, to restaurants to breakfast houses. Although, there were also some things that somehow did not change – like that 7-11 store right within the rotonda, yung BPI Bank of course, how can I forget that! Leslie’s that serves the best bulalo ever, the fabulous view at the Taal Vista (now minus the coin activated telescopes) and the downward then upward trek at Residence Inn. It’s really amazing how the mixture of the old and the new has made it such a relaxing place for those people who want to hibernate for the weekend.

Suddenly it hit me, just as I was passing through some familiar places. I remembered how as a kid, I dreamed of getting a house and actually living there. What I told people that I wanted to become when I grow up. My little dreams, goals, ambitions in life and all those crazy ideas that will eventually lead me to fulfilling my dreams. Suddenly, I realized how far I’ve become from that kid, who dreamed of becoming the best cashier in a grocery. How different things are at present as well as my plans for the future. Somehow it made me think, am I living my 20 something life right? Looking back, when the dreams that I thought of for myself some years ago, did not all actually get realized, should I stop dreaming then and start looking for other alternatives? A wise man once said that an unexamined life is not worth living. What happens when you’ve examined your life and was surprised with the result? Or perhaps I am simply over analyzing things now.

This year, I am not making any new year’s resolutions. I vow not to make any more of those ages ago since I never get to keep them anyways. So what’s the point? Hehe. Besides, promises are made to be broken right? Right! Instead, I plan to continue on living. To live right. According to my own standards and norms and not as dictated by people or society in general. This year, I want to practice the wisdom that less is really more. Live simply. Happiness is a choice, said a good friend and this year, I am making that choice. Hoping that I will have the same courage to make that decision in whatever life will put me through next. And if I never find the life that I thought of living? Ok lang, I’ll probably live a life that is better than what I have dreamed of.

Have a fabulous 2007 everyone…
A Different Wedding

A few weeks back, I have witnessed two people tie the knot and profess their eternal love for each other in what could have been the most romantic setting I have ever seen. I have attended quite a number of weddings in the past and in most cases, I got bored with the whole mushyness surrounding the event. I’ve seen couples trying to be cute, some were literally just showing-off, while there were others who simply remained true. I don’t really know if it was the long drive, the outfits or the weather, but somehow, this particular wedding is different or should a say made a difference.

We arrived at the church a few minutes before everything started, so I had the whole event to experience. Then came the traditional wedding march – the groom, the parents, God parents, kids who can walk followed by those who can’t, then the young adults and lastly my friend, the maid of honor – who is obviously trying to keep it all together not to mess her fab make up. We all know the drill. Then, there was complete silence, the main entrance was closed, moments later the door opens, the bride comes out and a song was played. “Ikaw lamang ang pangakong mahalin….” I don’t know the song, I don’t even care who sang it, right after the bride’s first few steps, I was at a loss already. Lost for words, I was caught off-guard, I tried not to be all too emotional so I turned to my friend only to see her eyes just as watery. Ayus!

To all of you who are reading this, you might find it tooooooooo cheesy. Modesty aside, I do too, whenever I hear stories like this in the past. But then again, I am a romantic-in-denial. I am a sucker for romance, or whatever is left of it. This has been the first wedding I’ve ever attended that made me shed a tear, maybe two. Perhaps it’s the song, or it could be the weather, or simply the people who are just drunk with happiness, including the guests who attended. Admit it, it’s nice to be with someone that everybody approves of. Nah, I am not saying that it is a requirement, but to have the people closest to you say that they like the person you’re with just makes everything less stressful.

The wedding has made such an impact in my life, in the same way that the different stories of relationships, from friends and the likes, have helped me move forward. Truly, this is a strong testament that in a world of conflicts, of breakups and annulment, in a space where almost everyone is lost, LOVE IS STILL POSSIBLE. It is a fact and you just have to believe in that.

“Sometimes, we put too much passion on the biggest dreams and priorities in life that we fail to love the smallest pleasures from simple things. We search so much for the right choices, for the right person, for the right paths to walk through, for the right time and for the right reasons. But life isn’t about searching for the things that can be found. It is about letting the unexpected happen and finding things you never searched for”