Tuesday, August 31, 2010

WataDey



Isang araw, ilang mga dating magkaka-opisina at magkakaibigan ang nagkumpulan sa isang lugar. Para magpawala ng antok, magpalipas ng oras, at yung iba, para lang tumambay. Ilang oras pa bago mag uwian, kaya pinili kong makikumpol sa kanila, para mawala rin yung antok ko. Madami dami pa rin naman akong gagawin. Mejo seryoso ang usapan, parang mabigat, dibdiban.


Tama nga, ang naabutan kong kwentuhan, ay tungkol sa isang taong itatago nating sa pangalang Marc, dahil yan ang tunay niyang pangalan. Haha. Hearing from his story, may pinagdaraanan siya, like most of us. Iniwan siya ng girlfriend niya, ayaw na daw siyang kausapin at sa puntong ito, humihingi siya ng payo. Words of wisdom. Thoughts to live by. Food for the Brain. Ganun. Alam niyo na yon.


Sa gitna ng debate, pinili ko na lang makinig, minsan sumasabat ako ng "maaayos pa yan" para lang maramdaman nila na nakikinig nga ako. Ang totoo, inuubos ko lang yung kape ko. Inaantok pa rin kasi ako. Hanggang sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari, isang matalinhagang mga salita ang binitiwan ng isa sa mga chismoso....


"Dude, kung mahalaga sa kanya yung more than one year na
pinagsamahan niyo, I'm sure kakausapin ka din nun. Give it
time..."

Sa puntong ito, naagaw ko ang eksena. Muntik ko na kasing maibuga yung kapeng iniinom ko, sabay sabing "mainit ang kape, shet". Hahaha. Tawanan. Tawa lang ng tawa ang mga tao. Pero ang totoo, ako, gusto kong maiyak.

Napaisip ako sa sinabi ng isang chismoso. Totoo nga kaya yon? Baka naman chinacharing niya lang si Marc. Para tumahimik na sa kadadakdak. Clearly, hindi ako ang sinabihan, hindi para sa akin yung mensahe, pero hindi maikakaila na ako ang pinaka-nasaktan. Ouch! It hurts you know.

Ako rin kasi, katatapos lang ng "open-heart-surgery". May ilang linggo/buwan na rin naman mula nang huli kong makausap yung taong minahal ko, at minsan, sana, minahal din ako. Tulad ni Marc, hindi rin naging maayos ang paghihiwalay namin. Hindi rin kami nakapag-usap. Or hindi niya na rin ako kinausap. Isang bagay na pinilit ko na lang tanggapin, kahit na lihis ito sa paniniwala kong ang isang relasyon na maayos nagsimula dapat maayos din nagtatapos.

Ayon sa chismoso, "kung mahalaga daw yung pinagsamahan". May clause, may cause. Napaisip tuloy ako, baka nga hindi nman ganun kahalaga yung pinagsamahan namin? Pero teka, mahigit dalawang taon din kami ahh. Ouch again! It hurts again. Sa puntong ito, pinili ko na lang manahimik. Dahan dahan kong binuhat yung kape ko, at tumambling palayo sa kanila. Palayo sa usapang gumising sa ulirat, diwa at puso ko.

Paglabas na paglabas ko, hindi ko napigilang kunin ang cellphone ko. Hindi para murahin ang ex ko. Call a friend ang drama. Pilit kong ikinuwento sa kaibigan ko yung nangyari. Sabay amin na masakit pala. Lalo na kapag galing sa ibang tao yung idea. Kasi, mas totoo. Mas ramdam ko yung sincerity ng statement, dahil hindi akin yung damdamin na gusto nilang pasayahin. Bigla akong naging EMO. Isang trend na hindi ko kailanman kayang panindigan. Gusto kong magsisigaw ng "I haayyyyttttt chuuuu" na may kasamang iba pang masasakit na salita. Pero hindi na lang, hindi rin naman siya bagay sa sweet image ko.

Ilang palitan pa ng text messages ang naganap. Matapos bumaba ng BP at emosyon ko, tawa na lang din kami ng tawa ng ka-text ko. Hehehe to Hahaha. Pagkatapos pala ng ilang minuto, magiging isang malaking katatawanan na lang yung pangyayaring kanina, halos paiyakin ako. Bilog talaga ang mundo. Pagkatapos nito, buong sigla akong bumalik sa opisina. Makailang cart wheel, back flip, head stand at kung anu ano pang acrobatics ang ginawa ko, para makabalik sa cubicle ko ng buhay na buhay. Kung saan may naghihintay sa akin, yung mamahalin ko mula ngayon nang walang pag-iimbot.. Walang pag-aalinlangan... At walang pipiliing panahon... Yung trabaho ko.. Shet... **Group Hug!!!**

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Dear You,







For whatever it's worth....





fight!





Sometimes we all need this much pain, to move on. Move forward.





The one you can always talk to,
Me



Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Reunion




I got messages from my former classmates in high school. Tuloy na daw ang batch reunion sa Saturday, September 4. This will be a much bigger gathering since our class reunion last March, because all three sections will be there. Ansaya. All of a sudden, I miss high school and all those times when I only worried about boys and pimples.


Today, I can't help but feel a lil reflective and sentimental about how things turned out since then. Malayu-layo na rin naman ang nilakbay ng edad ko from high school and yet, I sometimes feel that I still don't know what to do with my life.


But then, there were lessons learned along the way. Hmmm, madami actually. And tonight, allow me to write some of them. I just had to let my thoughts out before they consume me and baka rin makatulong sa tatlong taong bumabasa ng blog na ito. Haha.



  • Being able to decide for myself, is by far, the best gift I enjoy from being an adult. No matter how stupid or mature those decisions are.
  • Don't be soooooo egotistic. Ego serves you nothing. In fact, madami akong pagkakataong pinalampas at palalampasin in case somebody will try to bash my ego. Pero pag self-worth ko na ang in question, ay puta, sapakan na yan.
  • Loving a person too much is not love at all. It is in fact selfishness.
  • The best conversations I've had, are with those people who have a different opinion than mine. Masarap makipag usap sa mga taong maalam, experienced and hindi masyadong superficial.
  • Although laging sinasabi ni Ernie Baron (SLN) that Knowledge is Power.. There are some things in life that you are better off not knowing..
  • Never ever take people for granted, just becuase they said that they'll always be there. It's just not right.
  • Respect is much much more important than Love. When you have respect for people, hindi mo gagawin ang mga bagay na alam mong makakasakit sa kanila.
  • Minsan, you are only given one shot at everything. One shot to make it right, to make it perfect. After that, makuntento ka na sa consolation prize.

  • Hindi lahat ng nakatapos ng college, ay masasabi mong may pinag-aralan. May kilala akong may MBA pa, pero asal basura.

  • Sa buhay, may mga taong kailangan mong i-ignore and may mga taong dapat mong ilagay sa tamang kalalagyan nila.
  • Never, as in never ever make a sex video.

These are some of what I can share for now. Masyado na atang personal yung iba kung isusulat ko pa. Plus, the country is full of drama as of the moment, it doesn't need another one just yet. Hahaha.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Random Shit





Sometimes you present your most honest thoughts in the most unexpected conversations....


Tonight, over coffee, as a friend was telling her hopeful ways to meet the man of her dreams. The one who'll sweep her off her feet, make her his princess and live happily ever after, and how she failed at this attempt. I suddenly blurted out.......

"maybe (romantic) love isn't for everyone"
And in as much as I'd want to take it back, undo it and say I was just kidding, I can't. I really can't. Maybe because my current situation allowed me to say so. Maybe because I am still trying to be better than bitter. Maybe because of the weather? Or I am just plain EMO (Yak!). Or maybe because, for the first time, I sacked my idealistic self for a while and actually believed it.


It feels like for the longest time, I've been chasing something that is never constant, something that is fleeting, intangible... And tonight, on a cold rainy evening, it finally stopped.


I don't know what to make of it. I don't even know how to feel about it. I am just as confused as I have always been. You know what they always say, at the end of a great storm, there is a peace that numbs us all into submission. Eto na nga siguro yon.

I guess it's about time...
I'm ready....

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Majuuurrr Major...



The annual world cup ng mga beki just wrapped up and Ms. Philippines placed 4th (in a majurrr way). Ang dami daming kuru-kuro, mga opinions, haka-haka, kung paano or ano ba dapat ang isinagot niya. Well, sayang nga naman, abot kamay na ang korona naging bulaklak pa. But come to think of it, placing 4th in a pageant where 83 bitches are in, is not really a bad place no? Panalo pa rin yon. Kahit hindi major-major. She did well and for that, Congratulations Venus!!!! =)



***********************************


A good friend of mine recently told me a really inspiring story, na ako mismo hindi ko kinaya.


Last Friday, three girls made a pact to have a "limited" girl's night out. "Limited" because according to a magazine they read, dapat daw pag aalis ang mga babae, hindi big groups para mas may chance that guys will come up to them and you know, mingle. In other words, para makakilala ng mga "untas". Hahaha.


So off they went to one of the more popular bar in Makati, where most yuppies and the likes hang out after work. Drink sila ng drink. Making a promise that they will not leave the bar until they meet somebody and have a boyfriend (San ka pa!). As the night progressed, all they the people they saw were adult males - daddy likes, and even more matured ladies na mukhang nag reunion pa daw of some sort.


Ang ending, umuwi silang walang boyfriends pero dahil naka promo ang mga drinks na nabili nila, nakakuha sila each ng ballpen. Which made one of them say na baka daw nagkamali ng dinig si Lord. They were asking for a "boyfriend", instead baka ang pagkakadinig daw e "ballpen". O di ba, nasisi pa si Bro.


*******************************

Fitness First is known to be a hub for all men gay and gay-er. Iilan lang ata ang mga tunay na lalaking nag-g-gym dun especially on the odd hours, where more people are actually in the sauna than in the weights area.


A few days ago, I was enjoying my workout peacefully along with three other men whom I think were seriously into fitness, given their physique and how intently they ran on the treadmill. Mas pinili ko na lang na huwag makihilera sa kanila kasi na-t-tense ako when I see people doing intense training. And then some loud beki stormed in out of nowhere at sumigaw ng "Baaakkkllllaaaaaaaaa", in his pinakamataas na falsetto voice.

Surprisingly, all three men looked back. Siguro kasi, iniisip nila isa sa kanila ang kaibigan nun. At yes, mga bakla silang tatlo. Lolz. Sa susunod kasi, if you call your friends "bakla" as a term of endearment, gawin niyong mas specific, especially, kung yung area e puno rin naman ng mga bakla. Para hindi nakakalito. Parang boyfriend or Ballpen lang, Pak!#@$^.


Waka Waka – Shakira « Free Mp3 Code & Lyrics « VideokeMan

Saturday, August 21, 2010

My New IDOL

A few weeks ago, my friends and I were talking about Mariel Rodriguez and her whirlwind romance with bad boy Robin Padilla. I think I have a friend who's a friend of Mariel or something who confirmed the truth about the much publicized relationship, waaaayyyy before the admission on national TV happened.
Back then, mejo may resistance din ako about the brewing romance, because I lurrrvvv Mariel. I am a fan of her wit and talent, plus I find her very very pretty (yak.. Tibo!@#$). At syempre, bilang past time namin ang makialam sa buhay ng may buhay, kanya kanya kami ng opinion about it, but mostly, in unison na sana wag na lang sila.
Today, Mariel appeared on TV on what seemed like her last interview before leaving the country. And sige na nga, aaminin ko, I was very affected by this clip. Siguro dahil vulnerable ako? Or baka dahil sa background music na favorite ko? Or nasa Emo state lang din kasi ako? Haha. Or kasi, at some point, tama siya. It's her life anyways, but I think what she did is very applaudable. Maybe we should be like her.
“I do not regret the decision that I made… Finally, I’m going to be able to do what I want, finally I’m going to do something for myself”
This got me thinking. When was the last time I did something for myself? Parang in our efforts to make our lives better, trabaho tayo ng trabaho, we make ourselves busy with things na akala naman really matters. Yung mga bagay that we thought will make us happy. Ilang ulit na ba tayong gumawa ng mga bagay na minsan hindi nman natin gusto tlaga pero kailangan nating gawin, because that's what is needed, asked or expected of us. Or yung pag-aalala natin sa ibang tao, sa mga sasabihin nila, sa mga magiging reactions nila kung gagawin mo ang isang bagay na gusto mo. Most of us, nabubuhay hindi para sa sarili lang natin, madalas, nabubuhay tayo para sa pangarap at kapakanan ng mga taong nakapaligid sa atin. Ikaw, what have you done for yourself lately? Meron ba?
“I also have my personal dreams as Mariel…. Kung pwede kong i-try na gawin yung gusto ko… Hindi nman siguro masama yon… Baka naman pwede namang maging masaya…”
Ilan ba sa atin yung nakakaalam ng mga bagay na gusto talaga nating gawin? At ilan naman sa atin yung nagkaron ng lakas ng loob na sundin ito? This hit me most, kasi ako inaamin ko, I have sooooooo many dreams growing up, pero may mga hinold back din ako sa pagdaan ng panahon... Siguro dala ng takot, pangangailangan or pagkakataon.. I am not saying that I am in a bad light right now, but I am also not saying that I don't have any regrets. In fact, I do. Sometimes I still wonder, kung ano ang nangyari if I didn't do this or if I did that. I do have my moments, I just don't let it get the better of me.
This is perhaps one of the most enlightening interviews I've watched on a showniz oriented talkshow. Nahiya tuloy ako sa mga sinabi ko before about their relationship. And yes, I almost cried - pinigilan ko lang - my left eye almost shed a tear. Halo-halong emotions, I am happy for them, kinilig ako, and na-inspire ako sa kanya. So you go Mariel, ikaw na ang bago kong IDOL!!!!!

World Cup na mga Beki



Today, I read over at yahoonews that the Miss Universe preliminary pageant has been held recently. So I got kuryos, since sa SNN lagi na lang may interview si Miss Philippines... na minsan, parang nakakairita na siya... hahahaha..


So I decided to check out the roster of beauties na kasali.... sana..... this year... makalusot tayo sa mga usual na nananalo.... Tulad ni Venezuela.... na kamukha ni carla Humphries.... Lolz


Isama mo na rin si Miss USA, the first arab-american girl daw who made it to Miss USA everrrrr...... na kamukha ni Patricia Javier (not the Air france staff). Lolz.


Sana makalusot din tayo kay Ireland at Albania..... na in a few years, magiging Playboy models ata.... or magkakaron ng sex bidyo....



Lalong lalo na kay Mexico na mukhang dyosa.... walang pinipiling anggulo.... I swear..... She has the right amount of bitchiness and sweetness, saktong sakto lang, pasok sa banga...



But as far as I am concerned. I've never seen a beauty queen na sobrang hayok na hayok manalo. As in, sa mga interviews niya, talagang nararamdaman ko yung super over desire niya to win and bring home the crown. yung tipong parang pwede siya pumatay ng tao? Chos groban. hahaha. So sana, makalusot tayo this year. So Go Venus, ipakita mo sa kanila, PAAAKKKKKKKKK!!!!!






Wednesday, August 18, 2010

28 Days Later


I really find it sad that no matter how much you wanted something to last, there will always come a time when you have to text err say goodbye. Once you get past the I-am-soooo-blindly-in-love phase and all the romantic issues start to become more and more obvious, things simply get worse and worse every day that you have no other choice but to let go and say goodbye.


But then, you don’t really mean it. Well, perhaps you do, but you just can’t let go. Somehow, at the back of your mind, you are still wishing for that same person to look back, see you differently, run towards you and give you the most cinematic hug you can ever imagine. And then everything will be okay. Yes, everything. Sadly for me, it is not. For it looks like he has already chosen a different path, like he always does, and I am somehow getting the hang of it myself.

Truth is, I never really understood your silence. Being with you for more than two years, I think I deserved more than that. However, I respected it, really. We both know that patience is not something that I already have. Ayusin na natin, kung pwede namang maayos agad. I hate long breaks, I hate wasting time. Exhale. But now, that is all in the past. For I’ve come to realize and accept my own mistakes, in as much as you acknowledged your own shortcomings. Hindi lahat kasalanan mo. You are simply being you and I am just being me. Irrevocably different.


The past couple of days felt like time stood still. It felt like somebody hit the pause button as I watch the whole world go on with their lives, moving on slowly. I went out a lot, to be surrounded by the people who loves me. The ones who will do everything and anything for me, even without me having to ask, and yet I still feel empty. Which just makes it all the more sad. I endured days of silence missing you, your messages, your funny antics, your smile, your hand holding mine. And then I would spend the other days hating you, for ignoring my messages, for not doing anything, for making me feel worthless, unwanted and unloved. For not keeping your end of the bargain, for letting go – that easy.

Today, for the first time, I got myself to join a yoga class. The first time since you’ve been away. I’ve always been scared of entering that room, and yet always wondered how it would feel like, how it would make me feel now. It was a spontaneous decision. I didn’t think I was ready, but I guess I am. And right there in that room, just as the class was about to end, I took a really deep breath to take it all in. Inhale. How I've missed you. How much I wanted this to work. How I wanted you to fight for this. How I loved and still love you, even if I can't really make you love me back. I tried to process everything - from my head, down to my broken heart. I want to. I had to. I know it's over, and somehow it's okay.

“So this is how it feels” I told myself as I opened my eyes.
Letting go. Exhale.

It’s funny that as I was browsing the net for showbiz stories, I came across an article saying that in a rehab, a program will take about 28 days to get you out of a habit. Incidentally, this is the 28th day since we’ve last messaged each other. How cool is that? Even at letting go, we somehow still managed to be cool. With that, I am smiling as I end this blog post. Starting tonight, things will be different. Everything has to change. Something tells me that happiness is just around the corner and everything will work out just fine. *group hug*



Monday, August 16, 2010

Must Love Vid




I was going through my daily blog visits and came across this vid.... Which is just BRILLANTTTTTT....

watch it!!!!



Saturday, August 14, 2010

Dear Blog,




The weekend started scary. Friday the 13th kasi. And you know how superstitious I am pagdating sa mga ganyan. Given the fact that I've had a string or more of a stretch pa nga of bad luck recently. But I was wrong. Soooooooo wrong.


On Friday the 13th, I maybe harassed by an unplanned dinner with my college friends. But that didn't stay long. I was actually glad I've met them that night. It was refreshing and uhm, fun. At eto ka, alam mo bang after that dinner, some of us went to to a friend's bar for a very special event. The search for Mr. Butterfly Hunk. I was front and centerrrr during a bikini pageant at a friend's bar??? hahaha. First time ko. Like a virgin to be that close. At nakuha ko pa talagang magpa-picture sa winner. Hahaha. I had soooo much fun together with my friends at sa amin pa talaga nanggaling ang winning question... Pak! Di ba?


And just when I thought it couldn't get any better, eto Saturday, biglang na-solve na naman ang isa pang mystery ng buhay ko. I once again saw my hot neighbor, the "model-esque" guy I was telling people about. He really looks familiar kasi. Hindi ko lang mawari kung saan at kung kelan ko siya nakita. But tonight, mystery solved na! He's the guy sa F&H MOA ata!!! hahaha. And when I saw him, I actually caught him looking back at me.... Shet! Siguro, namumukhaan niya rin ako or something. For the first time, in a very long time, kinilig ako. I felt giddy like a 16 year old. hahaha. Parang adik lang.



So there. So far, this is how my weekend went. Friday the 13th isn't soooo bad after all. Hahahaha. Yun lang.





Thursday, August 12, 2010

Let it Rain



Sometimes, I wish there is this kind of scale....
some sort of measuring tool .....
that tells us whether we want, we need or we love too much....
Or if everything is simply just enough...

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Not Like the Movies

Earlier this evening, I was able to catch one of my favorite movies being shown on Cinema One – In My Life. Ilang beses ko na atang napapanuod ito. It is one of those movies that I’ll never get tired of watching. Siguro dahil bakla ang mga bida, kwento ng pagmamahal ng ina sa anak, and for once, this is actually a gay movie that is not focused on the gay lifestyle. Hindi ito simpleng baklaan lang, may puso, may kwento at higit sa lahat, may gusting iparating sa mga nanunuod. Everytime I get to see this film, I still couldn’t help but be amazed at how it actually affects me, especially now, that I am in this particular phase in my own life.

Seeing it for the nth time tonight is different. Now, I actually have the courage to admit the similarities of myself from the character of Noel (John Lloyd Cruz). Kung paanong binago siya ng pag ibig. Kung paanong binago ng pag ibig ang buhay niya at pakikitungo sa mga tao sa paligid niya. Minsan, in our efforts to really make the relationship work, we can’t help ourselves but get lost in all the fun and drama of being in a relationship. Minsan, sa sobrang pagmamahal natin, nakakalimutan na natin ang ating mga sarili. Tulad ni Noel, ibibigay mo ang lahat ng kaya mong ibigay para sa taong mahal mo nang walang hinihinging kapalit. I-a-adjust mo ang sarili mo, oras mo at pati buong buhay mo para mag fit sa isang relasyong inaakala mong tama at perfect. Gagawin mo ang lahat ng pwede mong gawin, para maipakita kung gaano mo siya kamahal, gaano siya ka-importante sa abot ng iyong makakaya. And in the process, makakalimutan mo ang sarili mo, pamilya mo at pati na ang ibang mga taong nakapaligid sa iyo.
Perhaps, this is what happened to me. There were signs which I chose to ignore. In the hopes that everything will be alright. That we will be okay, that I will be okay. Pero hindi pala. Mali ako, maling mali.
I’ve always asked this, may hangganan ba ang pagmamahal? Kailan mo ba sasabihin na tama na, you’ve given enough already? Wala naman di ba? Para sa akin, dapat pag nagmahal ka, buong buo mo itong ibinibigay, walang inhibitions, walang limits, otherwise, wag na lang. Pero mahirap din pala, kung palaging ikaw ang magbibigay, ikaw ang iintindi, ikaw ang mag-a-adjust. And for the nth time, eto pa rin ako. Maraming pinagdaanan, pero parang hindi pa rin natuto.
Siguro this is the effect of being such a movie fan. Sa mga panonood ko ng romantic comedy films. I got soooo immersed in romantic love. The very idea of romance excites me. Nakakatawang isipin at nakakahiyang aminin, pero ganun pa rin ako. Umaasa na sa totoong buhay, pwedeng mangyari yung mga napapanuod ko sa TV. Magmamahal at ibibigay lahat. Gagawin at pipiliting maging espesyal ang lahat ng bagay. And in the process, ako mismo, ako mismo ang makakalimot sa sarili ko. That I am special too. That I need to feel special too. I need to feel loved, respected and wanted, not just needed. Mga bagay na hindi ko alam kung kailangan bang sinabi ko na lang? Pero dapat kusang ibinibigay sa iyo ng mga taong nagsasabing mahal ka.

**************************
Now, it’s been two weeks since me and my then BF talked. Tama nga sila no? Hindi mo talaga mapipigilan ang sarili mo from getting to that point of saturation. All I could say to myself was, ayoko na ng ganito. Paulit ulit na umiikot sa isip ko, at wala na akong magawa. Or siguro, unconsciously, I was waiting for him to actually do something about it for a change. Unfortunately, he didn’t. He won’t and will never do anything.
Dalawang linggo na ang nakalipas. And siguro, sapat nang panahon yon para ma-realize natin ang mga bagay na dapat at hindi. Unlike the movies, dito walang malaking eksenang kailangan pang itawid, there are no big fights to stage, walang sigawang magaganap, walang sisihan at there’s not even any memorable lines to remember by. Dahil sa pagtatapos ng mahigit dalawang taon nating relasyon, mas pinili mong tumahimik na lang. Isang desisyon na hindi man ako sang ayon, nirerespeto ko. Dahil siguro mahal kita. Kahit hindi na tama. Kahit na nasasaktan na ako ng paulit ulit. Mahigit dalawang taon, pero parang basura na basta na lang itinapon.
Ito na siguro yung point na hinihintay ko. Buong puso kong tinatanggap ang lahat dahil alam ko na may mga pagkakamali rin ako. Hindi lahat, kasalanan mo. And for that, I am sorry too. Hindi na ako aasa sa sinasabi mong pag uusapan pa natin ang lahat. Dahil sa puntong ito, malinaw na malinaw ang lahat lahat. Mula ngayon, pipilitin kong simulan ang buhay ko na wala ka. Magiging masaya rin ako sa tamang panahon, tulad mo. But for now, allow me to wallow on the pain and the loss of a love that I thought could last forever. Huli na ito. At sana, sana, sana, sana…. Hindi na maulit.

Song of the Moment


I don't know what it is about this song.... but somehow it inspires me.... i know, weird.... I'm not a violent person and not a fan of domestic violence either.. basta I just like how this was done....

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts...
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie


Thursday, August 05, 2010

Dear Blog,

What can I tell you today????

Nothing interesting.

I'm still coping but somehow getting better at it. Surprisingly. Yes, surprisingly.

I do see beautiful days coming.

For now, yan na lang muna.

I'll talk to you soon.

Chin up,
Me

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

A Day of Revelation




Today was like any other day.

Woke up the same time, took a nice long bath, got dressed, went to work and did the usual routine.

Yes, today started like any other day. But I went home a changed man.

It all started with a simple conversation, "kamusta ka na?" na sasagutin mo ng simpleng "ok lang.." Ang hindi ko alam, hindi lang pala ako ang may pinagdaraanan. Mas umamin lang ako, mas piniling humarap at tumanggap sa sitwasyon.


Today, sari saring emotions ang naramdaman ko. Halo-halong takot, excitement, disappointment at kaba sa mga uncertainties ng buhay. Sa mga dapat kong harapin at haharapin pa lang. Awa. Oo, may kasamang awa sa sarili, lalo't alam kong ako lang mag isa ang lalaban at patuloy na lalaban mula ngayon, para sa pag rebuild ng buhay ko, pati ng mga taong nasa paligid ko.



Sabi nila, things happen for a reason. We have the capacity to learn something from anything, if we choose to. Para sa akin, the choosing part’s the kicker. Kasi dun nakasalalay lahat, lahat ng pwedeng mangyari bukas, at sa mga susunod na araw. Pero kaya ko to, kakayanin.


For now, iwan muna natin itong magulo. Kasing gulo ng isip ko. Hehe. Siguro, eto na to... kapit lang... =)