Tuesday, September 28, 2010

One Wish

Sometimes, don't you just wish that life has some sort of a remote where you can hit the "pause" button anytime, just when things are happy and perfect?

Lately, I've been very vulnerable about a lot of things and somehow that awareness has led me to stay away from certain types of people, who bring a certain kind of feeling that I am not certainly sure I can very well manage, at this point in time.  But today, just as I heard one of my all time favorite songs on the background, I began to let my guard down and just enjoy the moment. 

And it was fun.

Who knows what that simple conversation may mean.  It could be a start of something new. Something deeper or romantic even.  Or it could be just something random.  One of those things that simply happen as it is, casual and meaningless.  I can never know for sure.  For now, I am just milking this scenario with all of its excitement and all of the "kilig".  Yes, K-I-L-I-G. Afterall, there is bliss in not knowing.

It was waaaayyy too teeny-boper of me to be that "kilig".  But I liked it.  Haha.  It was something that I've never felt for quite a long time now.  And I definitely loved how it felt today.  How I wish, things can go on like this for long.  Even though, the "kilig" was all on my part.  All me.  Masaya pa rin ang buhay.  Walang basagan ng trip.

It was this song playing on the background when fate got us to talk.  Will you sing with me then? Pretty puhlease????????




I love crush you,

Sunday, September 26, 2010

What a Difference a Day Makes

I just saw a re-run of Grey's Anatomy today.  And today's particular episode made me a little bit emotional for a number of reasons.

One, for Meredith and McDreamy who willingly gave their planned wedding to Izzie and Alex.

Two, for George, who's been always there for everybody (esp when he held Izzie's hand while walking down the aisle).

And lastly, for Alex and his heartfelt vow. 


What an episode.  Taena this!





"Today’s the day my life begins. All my life I’ve been just me. Just a smart mouth kid. Today I become a man. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you. To our future. To all the possibilities that a marriage has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I’ll be ready. For anything. For everything. To take on life, to take on love. To take on possibility and responsibility. Today Izzie Stevens, our life together begins. And I for one can’t wait."




Isn't that the most brillant wedding vow on this planet????


Yes, I cried my eyes out,

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Power Trip

In this day and age, most people play the game of intimidation.  Unahan na lang matakot.  Because when fear gets the better of you, you'll lose.  Big time.


While they say that being brave is like winning half of the battle.  Knowing what your rights are is waaaayyyy better, I think it's winning 3/4 of the battle. hahaha.


Ohhhh boy, this post definitely deserves a song...  Sing with me, will ya???

                        "I wanna be a billionaire so freakin' bad.."



There are people that you'll just have to ignore and then there are some whom you'd have to put in their rightful places,

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Gleek Day

an I just say that the bathroom scene made the pilot episode of Glee soooooo worth it.  Rachael Berry is soooooooooooo friggin mean, she made me like Charice even more...



And oh, yeah, Sue Sylvester.... Always always a scene stealer... love love her... =)



                "Glee club is fun.. Swaying in background can be fun!!!!"


the full bathroom scene





Charice made me proud,

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Ok Lang...

"Okay lang..."

It is perhaps the universal answer of every Filipino when asked "how are you?".  And I am no exception. In fact, I use it way too often lately without really meaning it.

Perhaps my personal tragedy is that I've become an expert at pretending to be okay.  That eventually, if I continue being good at pretending to be okay, everything else will follow.  Things will somehow be better (Which I believe do, in time).  I've always been curious and stunned at how some people manage to tell others about their own problems.  Taking their masks off and telling that they are not okay, they are hurt, wants a revenge at something/someone, and is going through a difficult time.  It's like they are living a different life that I am only allowed to hear, something that I'll never ever know, moreso experience.

Today, however, is a different story. For the first time, in soooo many years, I've admitted that I am not okay.  That things have not been really okay lately.  I've let my guard down and decided not to be in total control.  Sometimes, life forces us to learn a lesson in a very hard way.  Perhaps, this is one of those times.  I am in one of those zones where I've been bombarded by challenges in all aspects of my life - family, love, career, finances - where counting my blessings is the only thing that keeps my sanity.

And now, I realized that there is this sense of freedom and lightness in that admission.  Perhaps you do have to acknowledge the pain, the misery, the longing, the fear, the bitterness, the loss, the loneliness, the not knowing how or where or who to go to.  Before you can actually find the courage and strength to let go.  Really let go.  Unload.  Geez, it almost feels like I am a different person altogether.
This is my first step at being open.  This open.  There are so many more steps and leaps to take.  So help me God.


God bless uncomplicated men,




Monday, September 20, 2010

Who Am I?

I recently went on a DVD shopping spree to get some of the more recent memorable Filipino movies to give as a gift to my "balikbayan" friend. In between testing the discs, I got hooked on this particular scene and decided to watch it in its entirety. 

Suddenly, it dawned on me....  Who am I?  That's the secret I'll never tell...

                                       I am freaking Allan!!!! 


"Eto nman ang mundo ko.... Old.... Musty.... Falling apart... And not exactly your taste...."







I know you (still) love me, xoxo,



Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Today was a Fairytale

Just when I thought I'll be gym-less and workout less for the coming week, comes a number of invitations to jog and run around Ayala park with some friends, which is waaaayyyy more enjoyable and fun!!!!  I just had a run tonight and with all these good news I got, boy, it just feels good.  Ramdam na ramdam ko talaga na maganda ang buhay habang tumatakbo! Lolz. ~smile~


Just when I thought I will be charged a penalty fee for not being able to update my account on time for my gym membership - I changed my credit card recently and it just arrived today - the front desk guy who helped me update my account tells me that he'll just charge the monthly membership fee and will just request a penalty fee waiver on my behalf. ~ bigger smile ~




Just when I thought I was throwing away a few thousands for a non-rebookable and non-refundable trip that will never push through, I get a call from the airline company saying that the flight will be cancelled on that specific day and I am to get a full refund! ~ biggest smile ~




You see, I've had this string of bad luck in the past months which has led me to somehow be stressed and depressed at the same time.  Now, I can definitely feel that things are indeed getting better and better.  And I can only be super grateful for these new found luck.  There are more troubles to iron out, but I know in time, malalampasan ko din sila!  For now, allow me to be thankful and happy.


Incidentally, when I checked my facebook account to see what God wants to tell me today (via God wants you to Know application), it says;


"......that there is a time and a season for everything. It may be a time of new beginnings, a time of growth, a time of reaping the harvest of hard work, or a time of rest. Trust this beautiful order. Everything in its time."




And I couldn't agree more!!!!  Everything in God's perfect time. Amen.





 Thankz phouwzz (sobra), mmwwaaahh,



Sunday, September 12, 2010

Taking It Away.....

This week, as I began to visit some familiar territories, I couldn't help but miss him.  Yes, you read that right.  I did miss him.  As I began attending yoga sessions by myself, as I visited Baclaran church alone, as I dined in our (then) favorite retaurant in Binondo with some of my colleagues.  I just find myself humming that familiar Aiza Seguerra song...

                        "I miss you...
                        All the tender love you gave
                       When a feeling gets this strong
                       You know the real thing comes along"

I couldn't help but be a little nostalgic.  Reminisce a bit.  How wonderful things were back then.  I couldn't help but smile whenever I remember the good stuff.  The ones that I am taking and keeping with me even though the relationship has ended.  After all, we move on from the emotions.  Not from the memories.

I am still in the process of moving forward and adjusting to my new life.  Slowly, I am beginning to pick up the pace and not merely hope for some semblance of closure or whatever.  We make our own closures. I already made mine.  

I hope this will be the last emo post for the year.  This is making me itch already. hahaha.






I sincerely wish you well,

Friday, September 10, 2010

He's Just Not That Into You

It's funny how this movie has been playing on HBO for quite sometime since last week and I didn't get to catch it in its entirety.  What a loser  right? haha. 

Truth is, I am not really that interested in this film until I saw that particualr scene where one of the main characters said something that just hit me where it matters. Haha. Yak, Emo! Anyhoo, that's where the power of google comes in, I checked it online and was able to get the full transcript of the dialogue/scene. 



Here's one of those "light bulb" moments.

--------------------------
Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up.
If a guy punches you he likes you.
Never try to trim your own bangs
and someday you will meet a wonderful guy 
and get your very own happy ending.

Every movie we see,
Every story we're told implores us to wait for it,
the third act twist,
the unexpected declaration of love,
the exception to the rule.

But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending
we don't learn how to read the signs.
How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't,
the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.

And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy,
maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over,
freeing yourself up for something better in the future.
Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on.

Or maybe the happy ending is this,
knowing after all the unreturned phone calls,
broken-hearts,
through the blunders and misread signals,
through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.
---------------------------------


I hope you all find your "happy ending" - by your own definition,







Monday, September 06, 2010

Rebooking



I was going through some old stuffs when I chanced upon my favorite book - By the river Piedra I sat down and wept. 


Now I am beginning to re-read this one for the Nth time and I'd like to share with you some of my favorite lines/quotes or whatever you call it. 

I hope you'll get something worthy out of it.  I know I did.  =)

 
-------------------------------------------



One doesn’t love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. If we act that way, we are perceiving the other as a simple object, and we seeing ourselves as wise and generous persons. This has nothing to do with love. To love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God.




You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.




Every day, God gives us the sun – and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day, we try to pretend that we haven’t perceived the moment, that it doesn’t exist – that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if people really pay attention in their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment. It may arrive in the instant when we are doing something mundane, like putting our front-door key in the lock; it may lie hidden in the quiet that follows the lunch hour or in the thousand and one things that all seems the same to us. But that moment exists – a moment when all the power of the stars becomes a part of us and enables us to perform miracles.


Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment help us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments – but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken.


I could have. What does this phrase mean? At any given moment in our lives, there are certain things that could have happened but didn’t. The magic moments go unrecognized, and then suddenly, the hand of destiny changes everything.


But love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current.


Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.


I’m going to fight for your love. There are some things in life that are worth fighting for to the end. You are worth it.



I wish you Love and Forgiveness,

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Sali Ako!@#$#%@#

This my friends, is by the far, the best ASAP prod I've seen in yearsssssss....


 Click! click!!!




I also wanna dance like that,


Saturday, September 04, 2010

Superficial?



He talks with a hint of eloquence.  He likes to make his accent very much noticed known and acknowedged even.  He likes to pass himself as somewhat elusive, fastidious, hard-to-get. He writes with a lil bit too much honesty, sometimes bordering arrogant.  He is a star.  Or at least that's how he wants people to see him, and that includes me. 


But then again, I am not the type who gets intimidated moreso aroused, by muscles alone, even if you have the perfect six pack abs.  There has to be something else that he can put in the table - something that is interesting or will make me interested.


And then he drops the bomb.....


           "It's raining, I'll just stay at the waiting shade and take a sit....."


I've always been fond of people who are confident and can speak their minds.  But then again, confidence should be backed up by something else.  Don't get me wrong, I myself am not perfect - faaaaarrrrr from being one.  I actually hate it when people try to pose as one.  Especially, when they don't have the guns to prove it.

When did "be yourself" become soooooo uncool?






Yes I am that superficial,

Friday, September 03, 2010

Dear Blog,






Hindi ko alam kung bakit......



Kung paano.....



pero for some strange reason,





Kinilig ako. hihihi...







Nagsu-sumixteen,