Sunday, October 31, 2010

Katy Saved Me

When I had one of those emo moments, Katy Perry saved me by releasing the video of her new song - Firework

Gawd, it feels like the universe is talking to me now on a different medium. hahaha. 



Oh and yes, the video is now available on Vevo for viewers outside US.




Katy ignites the 'man' in me - uhm whatever is left of it (lolz),

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Something More Uplifting

Of course I wouldn't want to end my week emo right? 
So here's something to inspire us all.

Hopialykeat!!!

Happy long freakin' weekend once again!!!



-----------------------------------

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer


It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.




It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.



It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.




I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own

without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.


I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.




It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.



I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.


I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”



It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.



It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.




It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.



I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.




This poem really inspires the cynic in me,


Friday, October 29, 2010

Unt1tl3d

Malungkot ako. I just want to let that out.

Minsan, hindi ko maiwasang mainggit sa mga taong ang dali daling mag open-up ng mga problema nila sa iba. Hindi kasi ako ganun. Siguro dahil sa zodiac sign ko? O dahil sa sadyang hindi ko lang siya nakalakhan.

Naaalala ko pa nung high school ako, umuwi akong masama ang loob. Nag away kasi kami ng ‘best friend’ ko. Isang away na nag-ugat dahil sa sabi-sabi. At sa kung ano pang ibang mga nasabi pagkatapos nun. Nung mga panahong yon, major na yon. Mga bata pa kami at walang masyadong alam sa buhay. Natatandaan ko pa kung paano ako umuwi ng maaga, pumasok ng bahay at dumiretso sa kama ko. Isang bagay na hindi ko naman ginagawa sa araw araw. Hindi normal. Dala ng sobrang sama ng loob, hindi ko napigilang umiyak. Uhm, humagulgol habang nakahiga sa kama. Napansin ako ng nanay ko at tinanong kung bakit. Hindi ko alam kung paano siya sasagutin, kaya ang sinabi ko na lang ‘wala’. At pagkatapos nun, ilang ‘wala’ pa ang nasabi ko sa tuwing nagkakaron ako ng problema. Hindi kasi ako sanay na pinag uusapan ang mga ito. Pero nasanay na rin siguro ang nanay ko na hindi ako nag-k-kwento. Yun ang naging ‘normal’ para sa amin.


Over the years, I’ve managed to keep a number of close friends. Great ones. Pero pag tinanong mo sila kung sino ako, malamang iba iba ang sasabihin nila. Perception na rin siguro. Or dahil sa ganun talaga ako magpakilala. Parang bawat isa sa kanila, may mga alam na bagay tungkol sa akin. Pero wala ni isa sa kanila na makakapagsabi or makakapag-describe ng kabuuan ko. Parang puzzle. Each of them can provide you with a piece of me, that will hopefully help put the big picture together. Pero kulang pa rin. Hindi ko kasi ugali tlaga ang mag kwento ng mga bagay tungkol sa akin voluntarily. Mas magaling akong makinig kesa magkwento. Pero pag tinanong ako, sinasagot ko naman. Dun na rin siguro naka-base yung pagkakakilala nila sa akin. Kung hanggang saan ba yung pinilit nilang alamin, tungkol sa akin.


Kanina, I was talking to a good friend of mine. Naglalabas siya ng sama ng loob. The usual stuff friends do. Gusto ko sanang sumingit. Malungkot din naman ako e. Pero pakiramdam ko, masyado nang mabigat ang conversation. Ayoko nang dumagdag. Dun nagsimula ang inggit. Inggit na parang ang dali-dali para sa kanyang mag kwento. Minsan kasi, may perception ang tao sa bawat isa. At pag napabilang ka dun sa cheerful, always sunny, strong, optimist, etc. mas lalong nagiging mahirap ang lahat. Lalo na pag ikaw na yung nagkaron ng moments of weakness. Hindi mo alam kung kanino ka lalapit, kung kanino ka kakapit, kung sino ang dapat sumalo sa iyo, or kung may sasalo man lang ba tlaga? Kung paano ka magsisimulang mag kwento, nang walang judgment – yung hindi mo maririnig yung ‘kaya mo yan, strong ka naman e’.


Sa buhay na ito, natutunan ko ang ngumiti sa kabila ng lungkot. Yung maging matatag kahit binabalot ka na ng takot. Yung maging matibay, kahit na paulit ulit na binabasag ang puso mo. Pero sino bang niloloko ko? Ako rin naman. Taena this! Madami akong iniisip. Madami akong kinakatakot. Oo, malungkot na malungkot ako ngayong araw na ito. I just have to get it out of my system before it consume me, all of me. Tomorrow is another day. Imaginary friends – group hug!!!!! =)

Tonight I write the saddest lines,




Saturday, October 23, 2010

Hirit of the Week

Let's hear it.....



"Kung yung i-text nga ako hindi niya magawa, pano pa yung mahalin ako????"
            (He won't even bother sending me an SMS message, what more to love me?)

                                                    
                                                       --- said in jest by an officemate


                                                          

But we all know that jokes are half-meant right?

Sunday, October 17, 2010

It's the Season

It's the season for taking chances
For accepting invitations
For believing in the power of 'hello'
For long conversations
For awkward first meetings
For shaking hands
For long walks
over short distances


It's the season for taking chances
For new found friendships
For old ones rekindled
For stories of catching up
and recent happenings


It's the season for taking chances
For being a lil bolder
and braver
For doing new and exciting things
For a new outlook
For a new beginning

It's the season for taking chances
there's no reason for holding back
nor for being scared
It's the season for taking chances
It's time to fly






It's open season,

A Whole New World

I've been blogging for quite a while now.  It has always been my therapy.  An escape.  An outlet for all those crazy insanities of everyday living.  Little did I know that there's a whole world of other bloggers out there.  Letting their own thoughts out for the world to see read.  Iba tlaga ang nagagawa ng "next" button ng blogger.  One thing led to another and all of sudden, I 'stumbled' upon one amazing pinoy blogger and a host of other blogsites which has made blogwalking a lil exciting for me.  =)



Reading.... Browsing.... Passing through....
I guess I haven't really had the chance to look around and maximize this site.  Now it feels like I just started walking - baby isteps... Lolz.

I don't know if there is some sort of a trend in the cyberspace now but from the recent posts of people that I've read so far, mejo 'emo' ata ang naging theme. Or is it because pain fuels a writer/blogger to come up with a great post?  Anyhoo.. I don't and I can't really rock the 'emo' trend, but then allow me to share my thoughts on this - kasi mejo napapanahon? Hahaha.

The past couple of days, I have been the target of my inquisitive friends who thought that I maybe up to something.  You see, I myself have recently ended my two year relationship.  A couple of months have passed and somehow, I managed to get by.  There was no gathering of friends to a drinking session.  No overrated presscon.  No long phone calls talking to friends, getting solace and pointing fingers.  No cursing and I never had that urge to give anyone a finger and unleash my cuss.  It was a simple, sublte, quiet turn of events, but nonetheless, painful. 

I've read somewhere that a person will go through five stages after a breakup.  This I want to challenge.  I think someone blogged about it.  Maybe my own friends have read it themselves somewhere, believed it and circled their own breakup stage around it .  Gaya ni Kim Chiu, hindi rin naman ako bato.  For whatever it's worth, nasaktan din naman ako.  I went through my own personal grief alone and endured the pain.  It was my choice to suffer in silence.  To reflect and accept my own shortcomings that has led to the demise of my relationship.  Without any cloud of judgement.  There was a bit of  denial, depression and now, I guess I am at the point of acceptance.  It was not your complete five stage I know, but who's to say that my own development was incomplete?  Di ba, tao lang din naman ang gumawa ng rule na yan?  While it can be true for some people, or in other cirscumstances, It should never be absolute. IMHO.

Now, reading through other people's blogs on how they are coping with their own 'emo' stage somehow confirms this.  People may have different ways of recovering.  Some write about it, others turned to music, some to sex and other crazy stuffs.  But the pain - the pain of ending something that was once your world remain the same.  In every single case.  So here's to all who've succomed to 'emo' for the past days.  May you do what you have to do to pick yourself up.  For there's a whole new friggin' world out there.

Blogwalking has never been this fun and enlightening.  Now, I can't wait to read more stuffs from different bloggers.  Stories.  Lots of different stories that'll help, inspire or even change my point of view.  Until then, sign off muna ako.

Endings are new beginnings - in disguise,

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Love is in the Air

Early in the week, I have been bombarded by stories of  a new relationship about to begin, past flames rekindling, engagement, hooking up and that 'exclusively dating' scenario. 

And I swear, it just doesn't stop.  Up until now, I am still hearing stories over at facebook about friends really getting a green sign on their love lives.  Nakakatuwa na nakakakilig. Lolz.


Don't get me wrong, I am happy for each and everyone of you. I hope this kind of feeling never ends no? Yung kilig. Spread the love - love - love virus everywhere children.... =)


Makes me wonder, is it February already? Feeling ko Valentines day na talaga...  Your stories are swwwweeeeettttt...


I really don't mind if I die of diabetes,

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Wonderful Mr. Mayer


I used to stalk him on twitter.  Until he got tired of it and moved elsewhere.  I really think that there's more to this guy than bad press where he is being referred to as somebody who is immature with a rock star attitude. 

Anyhoo.. Here's one of those beautiful article he blogged about recently which certainly hit me where it matters.  Hope you'll like it and please give the guy a break already.

--------------------------------



I wish that when I was younger I could have met my current self. We would have sat down at a coffee shop so that I could explain life to young me in terms that only we would understand. It would have saved me a lot of hardship.




You can listen to all the sage wisdom you want, but things only make sense when you can explain them to yourself in your own words. For instance, I’ve been told for three years that Breaking Bad is the best show on television, but only after I watched it was I able to tell myself exactly why everyone was right. Other truths I know now that I can explain them: that I’m not missing any crucial information and that poker really isn’t all that fun; that heartbreaks do fade but they take about a year longer than you expect and by the time they do you really don’t care about it enough to notice; and above all else, life is simpler than you think.



I used to think that life was an intricate series of levers and pulleys, buttons and switches, Mexican standoffs and hostage negotiations. As I get older I realize that life is more Netherlands minimalist than Jackson Pollock. The problems don’t get fewer, and in fact they grow in number, but the way I index them in the database is different. More problems get filed under fewer category headers.



Things are getting simpler, and it’s making life better. Here’s the cheat sheet:



People want to be liked. We all crave attention and affection and we all reject shame. When we get embarrassed we send a thug version of ourselves to the forefront to do our fighting for us. We’re at the top of the food chain just under fear. We don’t want to be in a relationship to hear the words “I love you,” we want to be in a relationship to say the words “I love you.” We want to feel needed, and exceptional and we hate feeling insignificant. We want to ace a hearing test. We are binary creatures; if we’re the plaintiff, we want to win every dollar. If we’re the defendant, we want guard every penny. We want to make more money than last year. We don’t want to get cancer or die in our cars and we want the same for our loved ones. We go out on weekends to try and have sex while trying not to get punched in the face. We drink so we can be ourselves and not mind it so much. We’re desperate to be understood. We want to know someone else has felt it, too. We hate being judged unfairly. We want to make the person we heard wasn’t all that into us change their minds and admit they had us wrong. We want sunny skies with a chance of killer tornadoes, just to keep music sounding good. We take hours upon hours to admit to self consciousness. We don’t know exactly how to pleasure each other. We just want love. In any and every form.

See? It’s simple. :)


Written by John Mayer.



Afterall that's been said, I still like him & his music,



 



Sunday, October 10, 2010

Song of the Moment

Maglilinis ako ng aking kwarto
Na punong-puno ng galit at damit
Mga bagay na hindi ko na kailangan
Nakaraang hindi na pwedeng pagpaliban


Mga liham ng nilihim kong pag-ibig
At litrato ng kahapong maligalig
Dahan-dahan kong inipon
Ngunit ngayon kailangan nang itapon


Di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
Kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon


May jacket mong nabubulok sa sulok
Na inaalikabok na sa lungkot
May panyong ilang ulit nang niluhaan
Isang patak sa bawat beses na tayo'y nasaktan

Mula ngayon

Ala-ala ng lumuluhang kahapon
Dahan-dahan ko na ring kinakahon
Natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya
Lumabas ako ng kwarto't naroon siya

Magpapaalam na sa 'yo ang aking kwarto (4x)
Magpapaalam na sa 'yo(3x)
Magpapaalam na sa 'yo ang aking kwarto






I've always liked this song. But listening to it now just feels different.




Tama na to ha?  Last na to,

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Randomness

Quite a lot of things have happened this week.   Change are lurking in every corner and everything seem to be happening all at the same time.  I was not able to cope up. Lolz.  There are soooooooo many things that I've learned and I think that information overload has led me to get really sick, literally.

Well, my inability to really get my thoughts together lately has been very obvious. Hahaha.  Hence, I cannot make a cohesive post.  So, while I am still trying to make sense of those things that happened, please allow me to jot down some of the more memorable things I've learned, heard, said, was told or listened to.  Before they all vanish from my not-so-good memory. lolz.

----------------------------------------

People spend sooooo much of their time thinking about their next moves.  Planning their next step.  Visualizing their next course of action. Really.  While I know this can be a good thing, let us all remember that at the end of each day, what will matter are the things that you did.  Regardless of how brillant your plans are, if no action was put into actually doing it?  It's all nonsense.  No matter how good your intentions are.  In other words, walang kwenta.

---------------------------------------

What is it with Pride?  Why do some people love to cling on to them so much?  Ilan na ba ang nakilala mong tao na naging maligaya dahil sa pride na yan?  Ako wala pa.

---------------------------------------

Wag mong sabihin na walang nagkakagusto sa ‘yo. Hindi mo lang alam, sa napakaraming gabing nagdaan at lumipas sa mundo, marami ka na ring hindi pinatulog.

true and true.


---------------------------------------

Just becuase I look happy doesn't necessarily mean that I am completely okay with what happened.  I got hurt.  I was angry.  A part of me is still broken.  And yes, I do have my moments, in the same way you have yours.  We just deal with things differently.


---------------------------------------


If you have the guts to do it, you must also have the balls to own up to your actions - good AND bad.  Stop making lame excuses.  It will not help, it just makes you well, uhm, lame.


----------------------------------------


People are given a lot of opportunities.  So always remember to be grateful and humble.  The world is round and you'll never know when it'll all be over.




-----------------------------------------

I we can just get ourselves together and never allow to have things left unsaid, the world would be a better place right now. Communication is always the key.  Fear is a great enemy. 


-----------------------------------------


And oh btw, don't you just hate it when people can rock both sexes and still look good??  This is Anne Curtis.  She's gorgeous as a girl and oh boy, she can be a really handsome guy as well.  Me jelllizzz much.




(FCKH8) World Peace everyone,



Monday, October 04, 2010

Moments

Sometimes, I feel like I am living on board a seesaw, that never seems to stop...

One day, everything seems perfect....

And then the next, I'll be going back to my senile self.... Old, musty and falling apart....

One step forward.... Two steps back...

I got so used to being in control... But now, I just want to go with the flow..  Follow where the wind will take me..

For now, allow me to wallow in not the knowing.... the unplanned.... the uncertain...


I am soooo sick.. I couldn't even make a decent post! Taena this.

                                        Tomorrow is another day.



No, I'm not looking for a fight,

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Surprise Party Party!!!

Something majjuuurrrr happened this week but I just couldn't help myself and contain my excitement about this particular weekend that I had to write this one first before that majuuurrr story. Hahaha.

------------------------

I super super love surprises.  Big or small.  There's something about the not knowing part that makes me cringe - especially when I know it's a good surprise.  Otherwise, that would be another story with another set of emotion. Lolz.

Imagine my happiness upon learning that one of our friend decided to throw a surprise party for his beau, who is also a dear friend of ours.  The moment I heard about the big plan, I couldn't help but be very very excited, jumpy and all.  As if ako yung i-s-surprise! Hahaha. 

The thing is, I've always been fond of these things.  Most especially about this particular incident. Growing up, I've always dreamed of being surprised by my someone special.  By gathering all of my dear friends, some of whom he may not even be very familiar with or close to.  And then me coming into a room full of my friends shouting "surprise!!".  I've imagined how it would make me feel,  how I would put my hands to cover parts of my face as if winning a pageant or something, how I would then scan the people to see who's actually there and how i would then hug my special someone as a sign of deep appreciation for his efforts.  While my left eye starts to drop a tear or two.  Yes, my imagination works overtime on this one.  Haha.



Geez, I think that is just one TMI moment but what the heck.  It's just one of those crazy dreams of mine, along with sooooo many others. Hahaha.   You see, in our busy lives where we are mostly consumed by our day to day routines.  Admit it, it is quite a challenge to make every day special for somebody else, sometimes.  So things like this one just picks up my mood at any given time.  Birthdays should always be very special.  No matter what.  I guess that's the kid in me.  Hahaha.  And what a way to celebrate one, than having the sweetest thing done to you by the person you love the most. Yihheeee. to be honest, kinikilig pa rin ako. 


May all of our birthdays be this special,