Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Blast from the Past

Over at YM,  during a very cordial conversation about the birds and bees, he sent me this:

"Ganyan ka naman e, when something does not work for you, you drop them kaagad.  That easy."

Normally, I will just laugh about this kind of remark from people friends.  Often, we are in the habit of exaggerating things, playing with each other's emo moments, and taking it all in jest.  But this one is different. He was not just my friend.  He was not somebody I'd normally joke around with.  So taking this remark as a mere joke is not quite appropriate.  Especially, when it came from my ex.  Somebody I dated almost ten years ago.  Eeeppp.

Blah.. Blah.. Blahs... Past. Closure. Smiles. Forgiveness. Moving on, Maturity and what have you.  We've talked about it for hours.  It was ten freakin' years ago!!! Ano ba? Jusko dragging much!!!

                      *************************************

Back home, I still couldn't help but wonder about what he said.  I can't help but reflect a bit.  Okay fine, too much.  I gave me sleepless nights for the past three fucking days.  Yes - I spent the long weekend thinking about what he said.  How sad is that?  Pathetic. 

It made me examine my past relationships.  The ones I had after we broke up.  He was my first boyfriend, but I don't consider him my first love.  I was too young to know better.  But for whatever it's worth, I loved him - the way I thought what love was back then.  No matter how shallow or immature that may be.

Reflect. 

The second guy I dated after him was just fine.  That relationship have gone full circle.  Friends - lovers - good friends. I don't have issues.  We both do not have any issues.   Which made me jump next to the third - the latest.  oh boy, where do I start.  *cover face*

Made me question myself.  My conviction.  Am I really like that? Whenever something does not work for me?  Hindi naman ahh.  Nooooooooooooooooooo.

 
                    **************************************

Today, day three of that haunting message. I decided to tell my good friend  "Inay" about it.  I needed to let it out of my system.  Otherwise, it is going to consume me for the next days, months, years even.  I don't know. 

We talked about this last breakup.  The more recent.  The one with the more interesting turn of events.  How I loved him, how I suffered - with my own consent and mostly in silence.  How I fought for more than two years and tried to make things work.  How I dealt with it - when it ended, that easy.  Inay pointed out my mistakes, the ones I acknowledged and the ones that I am not quite sure of. 

Tonight, I was reminded of that love.  As Inay and I walked some familiar territory - the place where me and my recent ex usually go for a walk when we find ourselves with nothing to do. 

"Ganitong ganito kami dati Inay.... pakalat kalat dito sa bay area pag wala nang magawa.."  She smiled back at me, but I know somehow, she felt my pain.

Minsan talaga, kahit gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao, darating yung point na iiwanan mo rin talaga siya e no?  Susuko ka.  Hindi dahil sa may nahanap ka nang iba or dahil sa hindi mo na talaga siya mahal.   Kundi, dahil yun ang tama.  Yun na lang ang natitirang option.  Yun ang dapat.  Parang kailangan lang kasi talaga. Para sa kanya at para sa iyo.  Para sa growth niyo, kahit magkahiwalay na.

Sana balang araw, ma-realize niya rin to no?  Magiging masaya rin tayo.  Sa kanya kanya nating buhay.  Sana magkaaminan na kayo ng feelings niyo ni R** at maging kayo na talaga.

                          *****************************************

As for the super ex, he was asking for a dinner.  Mukhang it is not about closure he's after but more of a second shot. But after the stress he had put me through, I don't really know if it is actually such a good idea.  (Sana hindi na lang sa kanya nanggaling yun, seriously) Hahaha.  Some things and people should remain in our past - because they belong there.  Ewan ko.  Nahihilo na ako sa sobrang kakulangan ng tulog.  One thing is for sure now, I'll stay away from YM! Hahahaha.  BBM at Facebook na lang muna.. Lolz.


Say NO to YM,


































Saturday, November 27, 2010

Just Dance

Seriously... I think they did dance pretty well...


I think..








Dude, aminin mo, magaling yung babae (eowv.. lolz.),

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Madness

It all started with our favorite soda




 And the later on went to our pick-me-up drink





                                            Caramel frap no whip/light blend



Now it went as far as our favorite dessert


                                                          sugar free cupcakes


Even my favorite hopia had to cope with this change


And the list goes on.  Nowadays, everywhere you go, it seems like there will always be these choices -- non-fat, low calorie, bromate free, light/lite, sugar free, gluten free, etc. etc.  Ugh.  Are they even true???  These tags have invaded everything we can possibly put in our mouth (almost.. hehe.). Sometimes, I feel like we are living a life full of scam. 

Malapit na ang pasko, in fact, on the other side of the world, they will be celebrating thanksgiving today.  Kainan na naman.  Handaan.  Buffet.  I mean, do we really have to count and limit our daily calorie intake pa talaga??? I am not a 'diet' person.  Potah shet.  Hindi ko na kayaaaaaaa.

 



And yes, I think eto na.  The biggest scam of all - sukdulan na.





Ano pa ba? Ano pa ba ang susunod????????
Itigil na natin ang kabaliwang ito. Lolz.


I seriously need more sugar to be less cranky,

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

It's a DATE!!!!

Paris is my favorite city. French, my preferred nationality. 29 is my lucky number and yes, I am not a party-boy either!!!!  Lolz. 


I've always been a fan off CREED, the perfume brand, not the band. Lolz.  Imagine my surprise when I got invited to attend their 250th anniversary celebration and to have an opportunity to meet the seventh generation of the House of Creed perfumers - Erwin Creed. Yay!!!! Faint!!!!!



To say that I am very happy will be an understatement.  Inhale. Exhale. I'm gonna diiiiiiieeeeeee of excitement. Lolz.



 
                                (Sorry had to modify the invitation to remove the numbers)
                              Magkikita na rin tayo, sa wakas!!!!


Pwede pa nating unahan si Prince William at Kate Middleton,  


Sunday, November 21, 2010

Love is Wasted

I am a big fan of AllyMcBeal.

Whenever I am reminded of the show, this particular scene always comes to mind.

Maybe, it is because at some point, I too, shared the sentiment. Ugh.


               
                 "Love more than anything else is all about RESPECT"



   "Love is wasted on you because you'll always be unhappy that's why I left"




I just didn't want to waste it either,

Friday, November 19, 2010

Interesting

We all know she can sing, but can she really act? Hmmm...

Madami na akong napanuod na 'burlesk' movies dito sa atin but this one is waaaaaaayyyy too different.  Mejo artistic.  This will definitely bring out the inner diva in you. Hahaha.



p.s.
Don't you think she looks much prettier without too much make up on????



Me and my judgemental self will watch this,

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Birthday Ko Po Ngayon

Today, I woke up with  around 23 text messages, 107 emails (personal mail), and about 80+ facebook wall posts. What's my point?  Well, ibig sabihin, kahit may unli promo na, mas madami pa rin ang nagtitipid. Haha. Kidding.  Seriously, what a great way to start your my day than to read all of those lovely messages from my friends.  Full of hope, fun, well-wishes, and of course, love love love.  I couldn't help but really gush about how they made me feel like I'm the only girl guy in the world.  Oooppss, napakanta pa tuloy ako.


Really, this year is quite different for me.  Unlike in the past, when I am mostly obliged to come up with something grand, I did not make any major major plans this time.  This year, is all about meWhat I want, what I really really want.  Which is pretty much simple. Take the rest of the day week off.  Have a really really loooonnnnggggg sleep.  Have lunch with my family.  Maybe head to the mall get KFC's double down and Mcdo's twister fries = that would be the ultimate party!!! Rawr. Hahaha.  Don't get me wrong, hindi naman sa loner ako, it's just that I also love spending some quality time alone. There's this need for me to do that once in a while, to recharge and sometimes reflect a bit, which I know some people don't get at times. 

So far, I am loving this day.  And how things are turning out.  Mejo relaxed, laid back, chill - simple lang.  Sapat sa panahon. Lolz.  In the next coming days, I will once again be out and about meeting friends in smaller groups.  Just the way I liked.  Para makapag-bonding nman kami.  You just can't do that with a big group.  But for now, allow me to enjoy this time for myself.  To do what I want and to go where I want. 

Somebody just told me that at times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.  I can only nod my head in agreement!!!  It just feels so nice to be loved and to be surrounded by happy people.  I am so grateful and honored.  And yeah, tonight, I'll be going somewhere to say a prayer.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  Really.


p.s. 
For once, I am really really happy on my birthday.  I can't bilibit!!!! (ala Charice).  Thanksz Phouwzz!!


This post needs a song, seriously!!!

 
Now I'm feelin' so fly like a G6,

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Reluctant Father

I've been very careful all these time.  I just want to make that clear.


When my own dog died a few years ago, I vowed never to get a new one.  Ibang klase kasing depression yung naranasan ko nung nawala siya.  And I just don't have the heart to go through the same experience over and over again.  But I think that has changed. Grrrr.. Lolz.

It all started when my mom brought a new puppy in the house last year.  I tried, as much as I can, to ignore her cuteness, but there's something in her that is just very irresistable.  Maybe it's because she does stupid things in front of me.  Or maybe because she waits for me whenever I come home late.  Perhaps it is because she makes me happy for no reason, especially during the most difficult times in my so-called life - simply by being there for me.  Aaaarrgghh.. I give up.  She's soooo freakin' charming and I love her.  I have already fallen into her trap a long long time ago. I was never really successful at holding back. Haha.  Now she has me in the palm of her hands - pwede niya na akong alipinin at paikot-ikutin. Haha.

Now, whenever I come home, I'd find her waiting for me by the door or at the top of the stairs (if I am home really late), waiting for me - as if asking for an explanation.







Then, I would have to play with her - regardless of how tired or sleepy I am.






And yes, of course, since she stayed up late waiting for me, I'd have to oblige myself and put her to bed.




I've become her father, for some strange reason. Hahaha.  I can't believe I even had it in me. Lolz.

======================

Geez, time flies so fast.  I can't believe that it's already been a year since we had her in the house.  I can't believe my eyes seeing how big she's become now, from being sooooo tiny before.   Look.....



A lot of things have changed since that year when she first set foot in our home.  But I guess, like usual, there are still some things that she just can't let go.  At least not yet, I hope.  She still loves taking slippers - hide them - until you feel annoyed.  She still hates pants and tries to pull my leg whenever I wear one.  She still loves to be cuddled.  At mahilig pa rin siyang magpa-karga at unti unting matutulog. Haha. 

It's been a wonderful year for us and I just can't let this moment pass without her appearing here in my own private space in the cyberworld.    Happy Anniversary Melai.  Hoping to have many many many more years of stubborness and togetherness with you.

                                       Ang bait oohh, parang si Santino lang..

Seriously, how can someone resist that look??




Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Ayon kay Anita


Anita Predictions is one of my guilty pleasures in Facebook.  Madalas siyang sablay at minsan, kung anu ano pa ang pinagsasasabi niya. Much like a girl who smoked a really bad weed. Lolz. 

But then again, there are also times when she actually makes sense.  Just like tonight....


Yes dear Anita,  this is actually what I like most about life.  It just goes on no matter what happens.  There maybe bumps or long pauses along the way, but then again, it doesn't stop there.  It continues to move on for each and everyone - sa mga nagmahal at patuloy na nagmamahal.  Sa mga mapanghusga, mapang-akit,  makasalanan, napag-iwanan. Sa mga nagsisisi, sa mga paasa at sa patuloy na umaasa.  Sa mga pa-fall, pa-delicious, pakipot, napikot at sa lahat ng mga basag at buo ang puso.


Life goes on, with or without you tagging along.




Tonight, I'm raising a glass to mend all the broken hearts of all my wrecked up friends,



Quote of the day: "Wanan prodlena, Inon lang ng inon..."

Monday, November 08, 2010

On Happiness




"The best feeling in the world is realizing you’re perfectly happy without the thing you thought you needed... "


Tonight, I can say that I can now relate to that statement.  I know the feeling.  I've felt it err, still feeling it and hopefully it'll stay like that for a very very very long time.




My birthday is coming up.
Instead of wishing, I'll be counting.
Counting my blessings. =)

Ang kaligayahan hindi lang pala nakukuha tuwing may 'addition'.... Minsan, pwede rin naman sa 'subtraction'...


Thnxz phouwz,

Thursday, November 04, 2010

It's Complicated

I never really thought that there's a valid use for this particular relationship status over at Facebook (or even way back Friendster days - if you still have an active account.  Jejeje.).  For me, everything in life is simple.  It's either you like it or you don't.  It's either black or white.  It's either Yes or No. 



But lately, things are starting to change that mantra. As I began to open myself to a whole new world full of complexities - where things are more gay err gray.  I don't know how it all started.  I guess it was when there were words left unspoken.  Words which were somehow validated by some obvious sweet actions.  However contradicting, it still has that 'kilig' factor. There was that spark that we cannot deny.  But somehow, we managed to ignore.




Or perhaps it was when somebody tells you he really likes you but..... with a big loud BUT afterwards.  Saying your friendship is waaayyy too important.  It was that big of a risk to jump from simply friends to 'exclusively dating' with malice.  He was afraid of the crossover.  He feels he might lose you as a friend.  And would rather be one instead of taking a good chance at having a relationship. It was stupid you see, for you to even have to guts to utter those words -- to lillly lillly lillly like me and backing off the next minute.



Or maybe it was when I caught you staring at me, blankly.  That when I asked you 'why', you just said 'nothing'.  God knows how many times this scenario was repeated since, and how many 'nothings' I have received.  It has been the longest running joke in the group and now people refer to me as "Nothing".  Like, 'hey nasan na si Vince este si 'Nothing'.  It was that funny.  Or was it really?  I wouldn't know, afterall, I am nothing.



You see, I lived a very simple life.  Where the basic rule is to say what you mean and to mean what you say.  I'm never used to these complications and how these complexities make life somehow 'exciting'.  It's like there's a whole new generation of people out there who breathes and embraces this kind of life - the kind that I've never known and will probably never know and experience in my 22 years of existence.  The drama.  The chase.  The pretensions.  The tricks.  I just can't keep up already.  Since when did everything become so complicated really?  And do we need actually need it???  Is 'simplicity' already a thing of the past??  Am I so 2000 and late? Ugh!


Can we ever go back to "I like you" lets get together sometime,